Hello, dear readers! You have probably noticed that I have been away for a little more than a week and shame on me – I forgot to write and schedule post for that time period. However, this week was not wasted and I am back with more exciting content. For the first time in my life I strongly decided to make this summer exciting, push my limits and try new things. The tattoo was first of them. Next thing I challenged myself to do was to participate in an exchange program. I still remember the day when I filled out the form and sent it. One part of me was feeling unsure but the other one was too worried that my youth might go to waste, if I do not step out of my comfort zone. The last thing I want in this life is to live a boring life and at the age of seventy realize that I did not take all the chances I should have taken. Besides – every summer until this one passed so quickly and finally when the school year started again, I realized that all I did on summer break was sleep, spend way too much time on social media and occasionally meet few of my friends.
When the leaving day finally arrived, I felt a little mad at myself that I actually decided to participate in this event. I am that kind of person, who does not go to unknown places and events without my friends by my side and sadly all of my cool crowd had other things to do this summer. “Oh well,” I thought to myself. “Just one week and you will be home. You can do this.” When we finally arrived everything seemed okay but I could not deny the fact that I was scared. How could I not be? As an introverted person, whose voice was too quiet for most of the people and who already got used to the fact that no one cares about my opinion, I was beyond terrified. Nevertheless after the first full day with workshops and social activities, I realized that most of the people are way friendlier that I expected and I am definitely not the only one, who prefers working by herself instead of being a part of a group. This was the main reason I chose art workshop instead of dance or music. Also, I was already way too familiar with music and dancing did not catch my eye as much as improving my art skills did. Although workshops lasted only 3 days and we had performances after that, I was pleasantly surprised and realized that trying new things does not always mean feeling uncomfortable and worrying about everything being perfect. Plus – who could have imagined that I will end up painting something on a blanket with spray paint? All the room for expressing myself was confusing at first but when I finally got used to that, I wanted to keep up it endlessly. Spending most of the day creating something side by side with like-minded people, drinking a lot of coffee, having weird and meaningful conversations and laughing until tears start rolling down our cheeks was my version of heaven on Earth. Besides – I was surprised that I, out of all the people in our group from Latvia, started to socialize with everyone the most. After spending most of my life between people, who just suck out your energy, do not understand your ideas and are constantly grumpy, I finally felt like a fish in the water and happier than ever. I even barely used my mobile phone because everything that was happening around me was way more exciting. (I guess, I rarely had such a good time in my life that I even forgot to use my phone.)
One more pleasant surprise I experienced was… actually playing the guitar a lot and enjoying it. I went to this exchange program lacking inspiration and motivation professionally and I was close to giving up. I did not want to play anymore, I was sick of it and almost all eleven years I have been playing classical guitar seemed like nothing. Yes, I could find notes, play pieces but the spark was gone. Imagine looking at fire-place that is empty and do not have even coals in it. That was me until I found that the guy, who is managing the music workshop plays guitar as well. After all these years spent between guitarists, who had one common opinion, I was glad to communicate and learn from someone, whose knowledge is different. After some great conversations I even felt ready to play in public again and all the support from people, who enjoyed my little performance made me feel thankful. I even came to a realization that I should stop focusing on creating a perfect result, enjoy the process more and open my mind to different kind of knowledge. Thank you for bringing my inspiration and a part of my self-esteem back, I’m still close to tears because of that.
Even though I wanted more workshops during this exchange program, I was also thankful for the days when we only got to perform. Otherwise I would not have met few great people from other groups, who made me smile and laugh as well. It is hard to explain how thankful I am to everyone I became friends with in this exchange program. I definitely want to see all of you again, so we can grab a cup of coffee, tell each other jokes and inspire each other even more. It’s kind of funny, how right after coming back home I am already thinking about ways to meet everyone again and travel some more but I’m thirsty again for some great emotions. If you are one of the people I met past week, let’s stay in touch because you are super cool. Huge thanks to everyone! Together we definetly made the greatest memories of this summer and I am looking forward to see you again in future exchanges and in between them, of course. 🙂
With love, Porcelain Doll.
P.S. Can I still call myself Porcelain Doll? No matter, how hard I tried to escape the sun, my skin is already a little darker than it was before I came to Denmark. 😀