Dear society, stop using sex as a tool.

Dear society, you can’t fool those of us, who are hungry for truth and smart enough to discover it. Sex is just another tool in this big game, used to make us feel worthless and control us. Nowadays slut shaming and virgin shaming is nothing unusual.

For a part of you sex is dirty word, something that people should have just to have kids. “And don’t you ever dare to enjoy sex!” This part of society says. “Sex is what equates us to animals and having it just because of pleasure is something you shouldn’t do ever.” But… what’s the point of prohibbiting something so enjoyable? I guess, I will never understand it. Then from people, who think that sex is only for continuing family and making sure human species doesn’t die out, we can move to those, who believe in waiting until marriage and the concept of virginity. Again, these people think that having sex is dirty… unless it’s with the person you married. Because virginity counts as something special, as a gift you give to someone special. But… what do you really give to this person? An idea of something? You can’t actually prove if woman is a virgin or not. (To find out more, just ask Google about “virginity is a social construct”.) Real meaning in relationship is devotion, loyality, caring and empathy. Biggest part of great relationship has nothing to do with how many people you slept with before unless you have sexually transmited disease. Then it’s different case.

For one more type of people sex counts almost as a prize you get. If you have it, you are a champion. This mostly applies to men, of course but if you’re a woman over eighteen, who has never had vaginal sex, you can feel the pressure, too. I felt it from my friend, who is having sex since she was about fourteen years old. I’m not against having sex and I don’t think there should be a certain age when you should first have it but it’s none of her bussiness when, with who and how often I do it. Also, in my opinion, it loses it’s meaning if you sleep around with many different guys, without having serious relationship. It’s all about quality not quantity and about safety, too. No matter how exciting one night with stranger, having drunk sex might be, if you catch some kind of STD, you might regret it for the rest of your life.


In the end I’m saying that we all should using sex as a tool. It does not determine our worth as a person. If you wait until marriage – that’s cool! If you are an asexual – great! If you slept with someone before marriage – that’s fine! If you prefer just fingerbang and never had vaginal sex – good for you because that’s none of my or anyone’s damn business. Just be happy with choices you make and stop thinking about sex as an award. It’s just a great activity – just like paragliding or dancing salsa or anything else. You don’t stress that you never tried dancing salsa just because you see some other people doing it, right? So be chill.


P.S.  There you go. I still can’t stop writing about sex because teenagers are so badly informed about it and I’m secretly hoping that at least on person from 13 to 18 years old will see this article and really think about all this.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.


3 thoughts on “Dear society, stop using sex as a tool.

  1. skynimbus says:

    I SO agree with all of what you said. This is something that needs to be known, and I’m so glad you took a step to publish this.

    • porcelainblackdoll says:

      Thank you so much. 🙂 I’m happy to see that someone not only reads this but also agrees with me.

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