Dear good, loyal girls in this whole world!
Instead of feeling sorry for myself because the guy I really care about, doesn’t seem to care about me as half as much, I decided to write this. I know, I’m not the only one, who can’t stop the tears from falling at night. I, just like you, have been raised with the thought that there is The One in this world, with who you will get married and live happily after, that your loyalty and kindness will be appreciated. My mum always thought me that if I’ll be this way, I will more likely get into a serious relationship, which will turn into marriage.
Here I am – seventeen years old and I’m not sure I believe this fairytale anymore. You probably now say: “Girl, you’re still a child! What relationships? Grow up first!” But, as told, age is just a number. I know very well that relationships are not all about sex. The person, who is with you, doesn’t leave you when you’re down, he/she supports you, helps you to improve yourself and to realize, how blessed you are that you can love. Now I am pretty sure that I want this, I want serious relationship because I want to feel deeply loved, I want to be with someone, who will fall and rise with me, who will never give up on me. Also, I am ready to do the same for this person – I am not afraid of problems and fights, I will stay through this with this special person forever. Call me naive and cliche but I still believe in love, the kind of love that has ups and downs but you are ready to die for this person and he/she is ready to do the same for you.
I believe that for you, just like me, this isn’t the first time you want to pity yourself, blame yourself for all the relationships that didn’t work out and ask yourself: “What the hell did I did wrong?” Here’s the thing – you did NOTHING wrong when you cared for this person and did everything you could to make him/her happy. It’s this person, who didn’t appreciate it, who was too blind to see, how pure is your love. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s wonderful that you have ability to love because there are a lot of people with cold hearts that doesn’t have it. You are such a beautiful person inside and out – don’t let this beauty die because some cold hearted jerk couldn’t appreciate it.
Sure, it’s easier to say it than do it but get over it. If he continues to be blind to your love, stop wasting your time. It only hurts you to stay, I know it myself. Moving on can be the hardest thing ever and it can take weeks, months, sometimes even years. Don’t blame yourself, if you fall back into past and try again to knock on someone’s heart’s locked door. It just means you still have faith in people and there is nothing wrong with that. But, as soon as possible, take deep breath and leave. It is possible, believe me, I did it myself. For months it felt like fighting for my first love is the right thing to do. I ignored those tears that kept falling and told myself that he makes me happier than ever. Sure, he did – for some time but at the end he made me much more unhappy than happy.
Be thanful that you’ve had people, who hurt you and didn’t appreciate your love, in your life because you’ve learned from them. Sure, they left scars but made you wiser. No matter what, girl, don’t lose abilty to love and when you love – do it deeply. Sure you can loose but who knows, you can still get everything you’ve ever wanted. Be a romantic, believe in fairytales and they will become true.
P.S. “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities” but I am ready to give all of the infinity I own.
xoxo. Porcelain Doll.