Renting a trap.

Home… What does this word mean to you? Probably warm, quiet place where to rest & be simply happy. That’s what it means to me, too. The place that I’m living in now is a Hell, not to say more. And I’m not telling that this place would look completely shitty. No. Just… renting a room in a house, who belongs to people you don’t know, is one of the biggest risks you can take. They might be friendly and welcoming or completely opposite – grumpy, mean and hate you. That’s what happened to me and I’m sharing this experience with all of you, so you would never have to deal with this situation.


New school meant new city for me, so I had to rent a place but I couldn’t live in the house I rented for a year, anymore. Going through all advertisments about renting wasn’t really hopeful because our family isn’t the richest at all, so it leaves about 1/4 choices of all that people offer. At that moment my parents have seen all the other potential “homes” and none of them seemed to fit but this one seemed pretty much perfect for them. Room was repaired, it had central heating just for this house and it was close to school. Also, dad had found that there are good reviews about the house owner. When I first visited this place, I had a feeling inside that this isn’t gonna be good. I had no idea but I felt it. My dad and the house owner made an agreement that I would live here for a full school year because there was really no other place to rent, “this good”.What could possibly go wrong? The answer is – everything.

My Hell started with simple comments like: “Why didn’t you clean that electric stove? Why did you used all hot water?” That was just annoying because I never got explained the house rules. He just critisised what I’ve done, like I could already know everything. You know what? I never had a damn electric oven at home and I had no fucking idea, how to clean it (differently that normal oven). Next thing I noticed – I agreed to live with two people in this apartment – owner and his little daughter but often, almost every day there came other people from their family – their smallest child, his mom (owner’s ex-wife), grandma and older daugher of their family. I wouldn’t mind that so much but they are always way too loud and it disturbs me all the time . Worst moments happen, when they decide to hang out in the kitchen, which is next to my room and walls are really thin, so I can hear most of the talks.

Now let’s move to te Level 2 of Hell. Owner’s daugther is very hiperactive and loud child. She’s seven and she loves to run through the apartment, making loud animal noises, squealing and yelling. When I come home from school, I’m super tired and I want to take a nap for an hour but that’s not possible because she is too loud every single day. After trying to talk to grandma, who was there at that time, I gave up. Child is spoiled, they are never gonna say no to her. One more fact – I’m not allowed to invite a friend over because “we’re to loud”. Well, comparing to his spoiled daugther – it’s nothing. Also – knocking but walking in my room before I can even say “yes”. What if I’m naked? That’s just creepy. And the fact that my room has two doors, doesn’t make the situation better.

Third level for real happened just yesterday. I was always afraid of the owner because he’s a serviceman and he’s always very rude and grumpy. I’ve been afraid to go to the kitchen and cook my dinner or even go to the bathroom because – what if he was near? I didn’t need a third parent, a man, who always critisised even the smallest things. Yesterday I came home late because I was visiting a friend in a different city. Later, I couldn’t sleep, so I came out of the house (it was 1 a.m.) to make a phone call to this friend, so I wouldn’t disturb people in house sleeping. When I walked back to house, the owner was furious and he just roared at me: “Why the hell you are walking in and out of here all the time?!” I was so shocked and afraid, I just run upstairs and couldn’t hold my tears anymore. I was so enough of this. I didn’t want to be here. I was afraid, really afraid of him and I still am. It feels like I’m living my own worst nightmare.

I told my parents about it and right now we are looking for another apartment. I still have to deal with all the shit this apartment brings to me and it’s killing me. I’m not sure, I can handle this any longer. I’m the person, who can’t deal with fear very well and then I have panic attacks, which makes it all even worse. I’m in a trap and one thing I know – I probably would be moved to some mental institution before I could’ve lived full school year. Living in constant fear is the worst. I’ve just about year ago finally healed from depression and now I have to deal with all this that makes me feel stressed, sad and angry.

So here’s the thing – don’t rent room in an apartment, if you don’t know the people. Especially, if you are a shy, quiet person, who doesn’t like to be in a contact with people too much. Trust your instincts. Sometimes they can say even more than some reviews. And don’t stay in a place where your landlord doesn’t respect you.

How you ever had bad landlord experience? Maybe you have suggestions, how to make this less of a Hell? Please, comment down below! 

All the best wishes, Porcelain Doll.



2 thoughts on “Renting a trap.

  1. sophie15samantha says:

    I feel so sorry for you and the terrible time you’ve had to experience. It sounds horrific what you’ve had to endure, my thoughts are most certainly with you. I think al you can do now is count down the days you are there before you get to leave and hopefully go to a place that will make you much happier. It seems hard now but once you leave you’ll just feel like the biggest weight has been lifted. And you will be happy again. Anyways, if you need anyone to talk to and people you’d usually Go to arent around I’m here to talk. Don’t you find it weird how sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers? Bizarre. Anyways hope things become easier for you and if it helps at all I’ve just posted a blog post about how to stay positive. I didn’t write that whole comment just so you’d find my post because I do genuinely care and I think my post might not help anyway because it sounds like you’ve been through hell but yeah 😊x good luck with the future

    • porcelainblackdoll says:

      Thanks for caring. 🙂 Yesterday finally took all my stuff and came back to the house I lived in before. I’m staying here only as long as I won’t find another place to stay for a longer time. Now I really feel better. I have to stoke the furnace but at least no one’s yelling at me anymore. I hope to find a great apartment to rent very soon.

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