Self discovery: becoming self-confident woman.

It is such a big and long path, isn’t it? It’s amazingly breathtaking and full of unexpected good and bad surprises. From careless little girl to anxious girl in her early teen years and later to almost seventeen years old teenager, who has finally learned at least few of the most important things in life.

Watching and hearing, how one of my friends is desperately trying to get back her ex-boyfriend and/or seducing few other good looking guys, made me really think. Why is she always all about looks and boys? It seems like if you don’t like a queen every second in a day and don’t have a guy beside you, you’re a shit and nothing. Is she really one of those girls, who think that women are made for men? That we are born to be everything they order us to be and if we are not like that, they have all rights to treat us like shit? It’s such a big no-no for me. Just two or three years I was the one, who cried if my crush didn’t text me back or suddenly lost all interest in me. When this happens to me now, I just say: “Oh wow, guys can really be fuck-ups. I guess, we were never meant to be and he is just another frog in my way before I get to meet My Prince Charming. If one guy (or maybe few guys) didn’t find you interesting or disappointed you, it doesn’t mean that you will be forever alone. Wrong. Too many girls and women are so afraid of being alone that they get together with first guy they can get and then it becomes a relationship you don’t really want to have. In this relationship you just fight all the time because he doesn’t like the real you or even worse – you change yourself and loose your true You because of him. None of these chances are brilliant so you better step off, when Mr. Wrong one is somewhere near. It’s really not worth it.

Shout out to all faithful, honest girls and women, who are ready to work on a relationship no matter what. Sad thing is that those girls get hurt the most because at least teenage boys are usually soon chasing after hoes. I have no idea, what they are really thinking about, making choices like this but… it sucks. Other one of my really good friends just got out in a relationship in a really bad way – her boyfriend just got back together with his ex without telling a thing to my friend. Sounds like Asshole no.1, right? Why, oh why, guys don’t want to fight over girls that they are ready to be always there for them and make everything work out? All my life I thought that if any kind of a relationship doesn’t work out and someone just goes away, it’s my fault for being too faithful, nice and all that. They just used me and left. I tried to be a cold hearted bitch and act like I don’t care but it really didn’t work. And just this year I understand that it’s great that I’m a good person, ready to sacrifice in a relationship and if someone doesn’t appreciate that, it’s his/her damn fault not mine.

All you, especially teenage girls, should understand that… you don’t really need a man. You should be able to live and be happy without them. If you won’t learn, how to love yourself and be happy without help of other people, you will always feel empty and find yourself chasing after wrong people. I realized all this on my own. Life isn’t about finding your other half, who would make you happy. It’s about finding new ways, how to love yourself more because you’re not a half, you’re one whole person and there is nothing missing in you that could be completed only by someone else.

I really hope that this made something more clear to you all and made you realize, how being happy and self-confident woman really works. Actually, I could say that the same goes with men. You don’t need a woman to be you, to be happy. All this couple and love shit is overrated. I, personally, don’t see a need to be in a relationship at all, if I don’t feel that this is the right person to me. Being with someone just to be in a relationship or just hoping to feel more happy and self-confident is totally dumb. Don’t be that person. You are smarter now and you will learn to love yourself, improve yourself and be, who you really want to be. And then – when you will least expect it, Mr. or Ms. Right one will show up.

Cher said it right.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.


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