Isn’t it weird, how you try to forget someone that makes you cry but you can’t? Well, I tried to forget the guy I had a huge crush on for almost a year. I couldn’t. Every time I tried to do it, I felt like someone’s trying to rip my heart out and smash it.
It went like this: I feel bad because of him -> I try to forget him and ignore him -> I feel even worse.
I tried to figure out, why it is like that and I realized that maybe there’s right time for everything, for letting people go away from your life, too. In that evening when I red all those hurtful text messages, I cried a lot and I thought, I will never stop. I thought, I will cut my wrist until I’ll be done. I thought, I’ll never will breath again without him. Even though he hurt me, we had so many great memories. Or maybe it’s just what I thought because I have this stupid habit to idealize past and all the memories. Maybe it was all in my head and all this time he was that idiot I realized he is only few weeks ago. Sometimes I’m just afraid to move on. Aren’t we all?
One more thing that we’ve heard a lot – people come in our lives to teach us a lesson. Here’s 3 things that he have thought me:
- Don’t cut. Yell, hit something, do what you want, just don’t cut. (I’m clean since the beginning of July 2014.)
- Speak out whatever comes to your mind. Worst thing in a convo you can say is: “I have nothing to say.”
- How to feel free with guys in general.
So here’s a little tip for You, If You can’t let go someone – wait for the right time. You will fail many times but then one time you will finally succeed. You will cry for a while, want to apologize for everything but then in one moment You will calm down. You will understand that now it will be better. This person won’t make you feel bad anymore and in the future You’ll meet someone better, someone, who really deserves You.
Looking at this list, I can say that #1, #2, #3, #4, #6, #7, #8, #9, #11 is what totally happened. Not from the very start but in some moment it just appeared. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did. Leave as soon as possible.
We all are much stronger than we think, don’t forget that. And the person, who is really The One for You, won’t try to ruin You.
xoxo, Porcelain Doll.