He makes me go crazy.

Hey, dear people. I needed some time to put my thoughts in right places. The thing is – there’s even bigger mess in my mind than it was before. I’m feeling completely happy and completely ruined at the same time. I don’t think, there is a way back.

Before you kiss a person you really like, there’s a connection that you can easier or harder break anytime. You can get rid of it somehow. When you kiss this person, there’s no way back, I guess, if you’re really in love with him/her. If there are no feelings and just lust, it’s easy to stop everything you started. When there’s passion, love, care, lust and all that in one big mix, it really blows your mind. You feel high for a while without any drugs, then you get very sad because this happy moment is over…

Yeah, it’s all about so called Prince Charming in my life. The same guy I had fight with. Now we’re fine and maybe even better. What surprised me is – when he kissed me, I really felt “butterflies in my stomach”, no jokes. I thought that it will feel special with him but I was still surprised about that. With first kiss he took my breath away and I just wanted more. My heart was beating so fast. I was just staring at him and feeling… like I never felt before. Hard to describe it. All this time we were very good friends and then, suddenly, good friends, who wanted something more. We both don’t want serious relationship and, I guess, I’m okay with that. But I don’t want us to turn in fuck buddies or just friends. I wanted him to be my best friend and at the same time I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to need me like he never needed anyone. I was ready to go crazy for him and give everything, if he was going to do that, too. If somehow I could make sure of that, I would do everything for us. Crazy, huh?

I have no idea, how all this will turn out but I hope for the best. One thing I know – I’m ready to work for this relationship and do everything to keep it. He’s great person and no matter, how crazy it sounds, I could imagine spending my life with him.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

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