I realize that during 8 and a half years, playing the guitar and giving most of my time to music, a lot has changed. I’m not that little girl, who just wanted to try this because of curiosity. No. Now I’m more sure than ever that the thing I’m doing right now, will be the thing, I’ll do 10 years from now, 20 years from now and probably until the day I die. There are hard times, too but it doesn’t change my thoughts that right now I’m not just wasting my time on something.
When my teacher two years ago said that when he started to completely dedicate himself to music, he lost most of his friends, I couldn’t understand, how could that be possible. I was sure that friends are the most important thing in my life from all others. I always put my friends first, before family, career and… everything. Now I understand that it was a mistake. Friends come and go, and they might even be fake. Family does never change and that’s why I should put it second and appreciate it. Career will always come first, though.
But now – back to losing friends and dedicating yourself to your career. I always thought that I have enough friends, even many of them. I used to think that all people I talk to almost every day about something that have in common, are my friends. But then hard times came and while I, sobbing, scrolled through my phone contacts, I realized, there’s actually no one I could call and tell what’s wrong with me. There was no one, who’d care about me like that. And when I wanted to meet them, they all were always busy with their damn relationship, parties, studying and all other stuff. A person, who tells that he’s busy all the time you text him or call him, doesn’t really care about you. A person, who doesn’t understand your passion for something, your feelings and your interests, can’t be your friend.
Than more time passes, than more I understand. I have many
friends people that I know. That’s all. If I’d ever should chose between friendship and career, I’d pick second. If I should pick between relationship and career, again – I would pick my career. As long as I don’t give up on doing what I love, it will never really leave me. With friends and relationship, it’s completely different story. You can never give up on person but if he will give up on you, that’s the end. So, I guess, it should be better to be married with your career than some person. Because… you should chose the thing that will always be with you no matter what, otherwise you’ll end up with having nothing.
Do you dedicate all of you to your career? Is that the most important thing in your life? My answer is yes to both of those questions and I’ve never been more sure about it. At least, musican’s career doesn’t end as long as he doesn’t decide to end it. That’s the best thing about being a musican and giving all I have to music.
xoxo, Porcelain Doll.