No hey, no intro and I don’t really give a fuck about it. There’s no readers for my blog anymore so I’m just expressing my fucked up emotions.
I was just thinking and thinking…. Why am I always nuber two? Why I’m always worse than someone? I’m not as beautiful as other girls, I’m not as smart as all other people, not as funny, not as cool. I suck. I’m hopeless and depressed. I feel like empty place to all world. When people get close to me, they mostly just use me and then go away. As long as I’m fine, they’re with me. When I feel bad, they leave. They don’t care about mis Nothing. They have their own lives but I… I don’t know what’s happening with my life. Sometimes it’s amazing and couldn’t be better but then I stay all alone and cry day by day in my room and try not to make my hands bleed. I cry but nothing gets better. I hate myself so much because I’ll never be someone special for someone. I’m not good enough, do you understand?
No one reads my blog, no one wants to listen to me when I’m depressed… No one listens me when I speak at all. I’m a loser. Only thing that keeps me going is hate that I feel for myself. As long as I’m alive, I still keep trying to be better and better just because I hate myself. Sometimes feelings like this for myself motivates me but sometimes they just… make me feel more and more down. I desperatly want to talk to someone but no ones even there for me! No one cares! Life is such a stupid thing. I don’t see any normal reasons to keep living but I still live. 😦
You know what else? Boys just suck. They always broke my fragile heart even more. They make me feel like a sucker. They make me feel lost without them. I’m slowly dying inside without them.
Your depressed, sad, useless and lonely Porcelain Doll.