Hello! I’m a little bit unsure that someone will ever be interested in this post but whatever. I’m gonna express myself anyways.
I never was a girl that loves to comunicate a lot and with almost all people. I don’t really know why I am like that. I don’t make friends easy and mostly I don’t even want to get some new friends. I don’t trust people. They always somehow hurt me, walk away and there I stay – alone. And most of people don’t want to talk to me or be friends with me. I’m a weirdo. An outsider. That’s who I always was. I dress different, listen to different music and I have different interests. I’m not interested in people who are too different from me anymore.
When I was little, like 9 years old, I thought that people are nice if they’re good looking and all that. I saw how they had fun with each other. If they are nice to each other, why they wouldn’t be nice to me? Yeah, I really was thinking like that. What a mistake. Most of them were never nice to me. I was quiet, they were loud; I was smart but they were just dumb (of course, that thing about dumbness I realized only later).
My life’s biggest fail was my first “crush”. I know, blah, blah, all that cheesy shit, that first love is unforgettable. Yeah, really. Only thing that it wasn’t love and that guy really hated me. Whole school was gossiping about us and I was the one who people “put down”. And it all happened like that when I told my friend about it. And after few weeks or even less already everyone in my grade knew it. They thought it was funny if they will tell it to my “crush” (Or better I should say – obsession?) And that’s how it started. All went totally wrong. People were laughing at me for years. Like – from 5th till 7th or 8th grade or so. I was hidding in class at first but then when they asked all those stupid questions to me, I get out of class. But it really seemed like they’re everywhere. What a crap. And the worst thing – I thought in that time, that I was in love. That he’s nice and all that.
But he really wasn’t. He actually was an (sorry for beeing rude) asshole. One of most popular or even the most popular guy in school. Good looking, acting super cool. And having really dumb friends. Who, I later realized, was as dumb as he was. So yeah, this was such a big fail. I hate remember all this but I wanted to tell something more about me, so…
After that what happened with my first obsession (How dumb I was!), I looked at all guys very careful. And actually not because of this whole “crushing” things but because my classmates (boys) are idiots. Really bad looking guy who smoke, act cool and hook up with ever girl who goes with every guy. Since kindergarten I was fighting with them and all boys, except one. With that one we were playing with toy cars. (Yeah, suprise, I wasn’t a girl who liked dolls the most. I like cars all that. One of the reasons why I was fighting with boys. Of course, they wanted those stupid toy cars, too.)
So yeah, I always was the one who hated boy sooo freaking much that couldn’t even explain. And I still do. Most of them. And no matter how stupid it probably looks, I’m still waiting that I will be-friend some cool guy or even more. Here’s the list what I can’t stand and what I like in guys. (I know, I know, probably I sound like some kind of princess for who no one of guys is enough good but, believe me, it’s so not true.
What I can’t stand in guys.
- When they drink way too much. It’s normal if you drink at your birthday party or something like that but if you do it every weekend, it’s such a big turn off. :O
- When I can see their underwear. 😀 Maybe I’m really like princess but I hate so much when guy has his underpants too high that I can see them. Turn off.
- That they have dumb friends who are always around him and acting like 10 years old jerks. Ugh. :@
- When they dress like their clothes came from a trash. No one loves trashy guys.
- Greasy hair. Ewww, sorry but no.
- When they like EVERY girl. They don’t care who she is, they just run for every girl who likes them. And when they get bored of one, they leave her and go for another. *facepalm*
What I like in guys.
- When they have good sense of humor. 🙂
- When they have their own taste in music, movies and etc. Not the same as his friends. 😉
- When they listen to me. No matter, I have problems in school or with my parents, or friends, they listen. And gives advice. That’s really, really nice.
- When they text first or just show that they care somehow.
- When they are ready to do the most craziest things just because I said so. 😀
- When they are smart, experince but not too much smart. I don’t mean smart like they have excellent gardes in Math, History or something.
Okay, that’s all for now. I’m still very careful with guys cause I don’t trust them AND I have high standarts, I think. But that will help me to get away from jerks. xD
But you really shouldn’t think that I’m a Princess. I’m not.
xoxo, Porcelain Doll.