Hello, dear readers! As you now know, with school and two teaching jobs my life is busier than ever which means I don’t have time for a proper relationship. I can’t exchange text messages with someone during the whole day because I have got so much more stuff to do and I need energy for that. However, that is just one of the reasons why I decided to try friends with benefits type of relationship. The other one is – I got my heart-broken for the first time about a year ago and then my word kind of got shattered in pieces. The person I trusted the most suddenly decided that an argument we had was serious enough just to end an undefined relationship we had. After the breakup (which was barely a breakup because we weren’t really together) and several months of excessive drinking I met someone. And, ironically, he kind of reminded me of the guy who broke my heart. Similar behaviour, similar sense of humor and the chemistry was just there. Soon after that I found myself in this well-known friends with benefits type of relationship. Who would have known? Me! A girl, who for many years was sure that I am a demisexual and relationships that are based on sex will never be a part of my life. For a while it seemed like a good idea but later I just realized that something is missing. And not just something – a lot of things. I wanted dates that included going out of the apartment, I wanted more attention and just… a bond that a person can only have when she or he is in love. I was not in love and after some time just got bored of him. So this finally brings us to the list of 5 reasons why single life is better than friends with benefits type of relationship. Let’s get started!
- No pregnancy scares. Well, I’m pretty sure that even women, who are in a committed, serious relationship experience those, if they are not ready for a child but let me tell you – getting pregnant when you don’t expect it from a guy you love is probably better than from a guy you don’t. No matter how careful you are, things still might happen, so, ironically, I am going to quote my mum and say: “The best way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex.” I guess, I’ll just interpretate in my own way: “Don’t have sex with someone you are not in love with.”
- No stressing about ignored text messages. What is he doing? When are we going to meet? What if I’m pregnant? Why hasn’t replied? The honest truth about friends with benefits relationships is that most guys, who are interested in this relationship are fuckboys. Some of them might seem like nice guys at the beginning but that is just an illusion. So, don’t even get started with them or, if you already have started it, ditch him. He is not worth your time and is only going to waste it.
- Netflix and chill is better by yourself. Meeting up with him at first seems exciting but then it turns out the only place you two will meet is either at his place or yours. And, if he is a shady fuckboy, who has a girlfriend, then it’s just going to be your place. There’s nothing from with chilling at home but if it includes mostly sex and you two never leave your (or his) place together, then it becomes boring. And I am so not about that boredom, you feel me?
- Have more “me time”. Go to that spa, sleep longer, get your nails done, meet your girlfriends… Do whatever makes you happy instead of constantly waiting for his message, so you can arrange a meeting to fuck. There’s nothing wrong with good sex now and then but if it’s with a whiny dude, who’s probably cheating his girlfriend with you, it’s not worth it. It’s just not.
- No dealing with his excuses and other bullshit. At the beginning he might seem nice and perfect in every way but later he starts coming up with random excuses why he didn’t text back, why he can’t see you today or this week and the list goes on. From chill and funny dude he turns into a shady one and then it’s almost impossible to continue the relationship. Well, at least if you are like me, who can’t tolerate even the smallest amount of bullshit.
So those are all the reasons you should enjoy being single and avoid friends with benefits type of relationship. No matter, how disappointing it is, the scenario of movie “Friends with benefits” does not come true in real life. (I wish it would, though. Don’t you?) Casual relationships does seem fun at first but at the end, if you’re a girl, it’s probably not what you want in a long-term. Better keep living your life until you meet someone, who is honest with you, wants to travel with you and is as crazy about you as you are about this person. (Just pretend you did not detect high levels of cheesiness in the previous sentence.)
Have a great weekend and don’t forget to follow your heart.
Love, Porcelain Doll.