5 reasons why single life is better than friends with benefits type of relationship.

5 reasons why single life is better than friends with benefits type of relationship

Hello, dear readers! As you now know, with school and two teaching jobs my life is busier than ever which means I don’t have time for a proper relationship. I can’t exchange text messages with someone during the whole day because I have got so much more stuff to do and I need energy for that. However, that is just one of the reasons why I decided to try friends with benefits type of relationship. The other one is – I got my heart-broken for the first time about a year ago and then my word kind of got shattered in pieces. The person I trusted the most suddenly decided that an argument we had was serious enough just to end an undefined relationship we had. After the breakup (which was barely a breakup because we weren’t really together) and several months of excessive drinking I met someone. And, ironically, he kind of reminded me of the guy who broke my heart. Similar behaviour, similar sense of humor and the chemistry was just there. Soon after that I found myself in this well-known friends with benefits type of relationship. Who would have known? Me! A girl, who for many years was sure that I am a demisexual and relationships that are based on sex will never be a part of my life. For a while it seemed like a good idea but later I just realized that something is missing. And not just something – a lot of things. I wanted dates that included going out of the apartment, I wanted more attention and just… a bond that a person can only have when she or he is in love. I was not in love and after some time just got bored of him. So this finally brings us to the list of 5 reasons why single life is better than friends with benefits type of relationship. Let’s get started!

  1. No pregnancy scares. Well, I’m pretty sure that even women, who are in a committed, serious relationship experience those, if they are not ready for a child but let me tell you – getting pregnant when you don’t expect it from a guy you love is probably better than from a guy you don’t. No matter how careful you are, things still might happen, so, ironically, I am going to quote my mum and say: “The best way to avoid pregnancy is to not have sex.” I guess, I’ll just interpretate in my own way: “Don’t have sex with someone you are not in love with.”
  2. No stressing about ignored text messages. What is he doing? When are we going to meet? What if I’m pregnant? Why hasn’t replied? The honest truth about friends with benefits relationships is that most guys, who are interested in this relationship are fuckboys. Some of them might seem like nice guys at the beginning but that is just an illusion. So, don’t even get started with them or, if you already have started it, ditch him. He is not worth your time and is only going to waste it.
  3. Netflix and chill is better by yourself. Meeting up with him at first seems exciting but then it turns out the only place you two will meet is either at his place or yours. And, if he is a shady fuckboy, who has a girlfriend, then it’s just going to be your place. There’s nothing from with chilling at home but if it includes mostly sex and you two never leave your (or his) place together, then it becomes boring. And I am so not about that boredom, you feel me?
  4. Have more “me time”. Go to that spa, sleep longer, get your nails done, meet your girlfriends… Do whatever makes you happy instead of constantly waiting for his message, so you can arrange a meeting to fuck. There’s nothing wrong with good sex now and then but if it’s with a whiny dude, who’s probably cheating his girlfriend with you, it’s not worth it. It’s just not.
  5. No dealing with his excuses and other bullshit. At the beginning he might seem nice and perfect in every way but later he starts coming up with random excuses why he didn’t text back, why he can’t see you today or this week and the list goes on. From chill and funny dude he turns into a shady one and then it’s almost impossible to continue the relationship. Well, at least if you are like me, who can’t tolerate even the smallest amount of bullshit.

So those are all the reasons you should enjoy being single and avoid friends with benefits type of relationship. No matter, how disappointing it is, the scenario of movie “Friends with benefits” does not come true in real life. (I wish it would, though. Don’t you?) Casual relationships does seem fun at first but at the end, if you’re a girl, it’s probably not what you want in a long-term. Better keep living your life until you meet someone, who is honest with you, wants to travel with you and is as crazy about you as you are about this person. (Just pretend you did not detect high levels of cheesiness in the previous sentence.)

Have a great weekend and don’t forget to follow your heart.

Love, Porcelain Doll.

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10 important things every classical guitarist should know.

10 important things every classical guitarist should know

Hello, dear readers! Today for a change I decided to use all my knowledge and experience in classical guitar field to share 10 important things that can be very useful. I have talked to so many people, who told me that they have tried or have picked up playing the guitar but the mistakes they make are so ridiculous that I decided to write this articles and lay out some basic life hacks that might be useful, if you want to start playing the guitar or are already doing that. Some of these might apply not only on classical guitars but on acoustic, too. So, let’s dive right in!

  1. Change the strings of your guitar in the evening. If you can change guitar strings on your own, do it in the evening when you have already finished practicing. Right after changing them, tune the guitar, play a little, tune it again and then put it to rest. Strings need some time to adjust to the tension and playing right away after changing them is kind of difficult because you will probably have to tune guitar every minute. Just let it rest and pick up in the morning.
  2. For classical guitars there two types of strings – work strings and concert strings. If you are a beginner, you probably don’t need to use concert strings yet because you’re only learning right now. But to those, who are already more or less performing, I will explain the difference between these two types of strings. Work strings, just like the name says, are meant for work and work only. Of course, you might play with them in a concert but don’t expect the most amazing sound. Work strings have to be changed every month or two, depending on how much you play. Concert strings, on the other hand, have an amazing sound, however they have shorter life. After some time they lose their full sound potential. Some concert strings sound good for about one week but others are meant just for one 2 hours long concert and then they are done.
  3. Don’t leave your instrument somewhere too cold or too hot. If you leave it somewhere hot, for example, near heater, the guitar might get too dry and it might cause it to develop cracks. That’s why you should buy a guitar humidifier for hot summers to avoid damage. It has a sponge inside that you make wet in water, then squeeze out all the spare water so it’s a little moist, then put back in the container and carefully insert  between guitar strings above the hole. (There different models, not just the one I inserted as an example.) Also, one thing to remember – if you take a walk with instrument in the winter and the temperature is below zero (the lower, the more dangerous), don’t open the case as soon as you enter the room. It might cause the guitar to develop cracks because of sudden temperature change. Wait 5 – 10 minutes and only then take the guitar out.
  4. When changing strings, don’t take off all the old strings before putting on new ones. Same warning – guitar might develop cracks and if that happens, the sound won’t be the same. So be careful, no matter if you have a 150$ guitar or 2000$ guitar.
  5. Don’t put any stickers on your instrument or draw on it. Especially, if you are going to participate in a contest or play in a concert. That just looks cheap and is a bad taste. Sadly I’ve seen so many people do it and it looks terrible. Just don’t. It’s not cool, it just looks like you are kind of disrespecting your instrument.
  6. Do not put your guitar anywhere where it might fall, for example, support it against the chair. If it falls, you will end up with stack of  firewood for your fireplace just because you didn’t think twice.
  7. Pay attention to your posture. I will show you two correct ways, how to sit while playing classical guitar and two incorrect ways. I know you want to look “cool” but there’s nothing cool about developing acute back pain.

    Correct ways to sit.

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    Incorrect ways to sit.

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  8. Don’t bother with tabs, that will lead you nowhere; learn notes instead. Playing every piece from tabs and not knowing notes consumes too much time. Also, if you want to be a decent player, learn notes. Tabs won’t be that great in a long run. Start with learning which free string is which note and go from there.
  9. Cut nails of your left hand and grow nails of your right hand. This is kind of controversial fact for both – girls and boys because girls usually like to have long nails but boys want to keep them short. I remember when I first told my friends that boys, who play classical guitar have long right hand nails, they exchanged confused looks and giggled. It might seem weird because “it doesn’t look cool or right” but if you have long left hand nails, you’ll have trouble pressing down strings and if you have short right hand nails, you will have trouble playing with lively, bold and beautiful sound.
  10. Your fingers will hurt at the beginning – it’s normal. A lot of beginners complain that their fingers (especially fingers of a left hand) hurt when they are playing. No worries – it’s part of the process and after practicing consistently for a while it will go away because the skin will simply get thicker.

So that’s all for the most basic advice in starting out as a classical guitarist. There are lots and lots of other things I know, and I could write a book about them but this is not a classical guitar or music related blog, so I will keep that knowledge for myself… Unless you really want me to write another post about some guitar life hacks or go in-depth in some of the things I already mentioned in this post. If you do, let me know in the comments!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

 

Being fit does not always mean loving your body.

Girl preparing for a run.

Hello, dear readers! Social media, magazines, commercials and movies are full of images of hot bodies. More concretely – fit bodies. We are overwhelmed with titles of blog posts and magazine articles like “How to get in shape for summer”, “How to lose 10 pounds in 4 weeks” etc. Even more – authors of these resources are trying to tell us that, if we lose 10 pounds, get a flatter stomach or thinner thighs, we will like ourselves more. Hell, we might even love ourselves. However, that’s not true. Let me tell you my story about how I tried to change my life by becoming fit.

I was never the sporty type of kid in school. In fact, I was the one, who was hiding behind all others and hoping that somehow the teacher would not notice me and I could skip high jumping or rope climbing. Maybe I would have tried but the teacher just didn’t care enough to motivate me. Maybe… but the others would have still laughed at me, right? I grew up hearing phrases like: “Ew, she’s fat.” , “Oh my God, look at her ugly face!” and other similar ones every school day. I am pretty sure that I could count the days that passed with no such comments on fingers of a one hand. Not many, honestly. I kind of knew that my bullies weren’t right – I was not fat, just a little bit chubby like a lot of kids in their childhood and early teenage years. However, at that point I didn’t pay much attention that it was normal. All I kept hearing were those mean phrases, repeated every day. And not by one or few people – at least ten if not more of them. These thoughts got stuck in my head and I started to feel more and more uncomfortable in my own body. “Damn,” I though to myself. “my thighs are actually huge and I hate that my stomach isn’t as flat as it should be.” I started to hate what I wear and how I look because so many people reminded me, how much they hate it. Around the age of thirteen I started spending about a half an hour, sometimes even more on my makeup, trying to make it look as good as possible. I thought that maybe it could help me cover up my insecurities and make my, so-called, ugly face more beautiful. I did my best to look better, naively hoping that it will make them stop. How foolish – nothing changed. I hated myself and constantly asked myself: “Why me? Why am I the ugly one? Why can’t I look like my friends? They don’t get even the third part of the mean comments that I get.” This first part of the story continued until the age of fifteen.

One summer I thought to myself – enough is enough. I don’t want to be the ugly girl anymore. I’m sick of having huge thighs and a little chubby belly. I am going to workout to get the body I want and that will make me feel more confident! I started out small – with about 30 squats, 30 sit ups and 30 reps of some other kind of exercise daily. There was nothing more I wanted than just to get those results. This was kind of similar to the makeup part – I hoped it would make me feel more confident and keep the bullies away. Side note – if kids have no apparent reason to be mean to you, they will make something up in their heads. It doesn’t matter, if you have glasses or not, if you’re fat or not, if you’re teacher’s pet or not – they will come up with something. Like Dita Von Teese said: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be someone, who hates peaches.” However, I didn’t know that at the time. So kept trying and pushing harder with every month. I used work out every day and sometimes I skipped a day or two, or ate something unhealthy, I hated my guts for some time. How did I dare to do this to myself? I need to reach this goal, I can’t self sabotage myself right now! My workout plan changes with time but I still managed to exercise more than 2 years straight in a row. My body looked better than ever but I still didn’t feel confident enough. I used to look in the mirror and look for imperfections. “My abs are not showing, my arms are too thin and shapeless…” I used to think to myself. I was on this journey that should have been incredibly exciting but somehow I wasn’t excited. Even though I noticed that I had made some kind of progress, it was never enough and the feeling of frustration never really left me.

Some time in November of 2016 I gradually stopped working out at all. I was so sick of this endless frustration and never feeling confident about my body. Whenever I started exercising, there was a little voice in my head that said: “You hate doing this and you still haven’t gotten your dream body after two years. Why even bother?” So I quit and focused on eating less and healthier while I lost about 8 kg until May 2017. Month later I got off the meds and started recovering from everything that had happened. I’ve spent way too long time in this trance-like state, not really caring about anything, not really wanting anything and sleeping way too much. I couldn’t help but sometimes wonder – is this how my life is going to pass? Am I going to exist all the time that I have left in this world?

Getting off meds wasn’t hard but I really had no idea what to expect afterwards. Will I need to use them again? Hopefully not. So I got the courage and told myself: “Listen, you need to get your life together. It’s not going to be easy but you can do it. Stop putting yourself down. Some other person is probably doing it, so why join them and make yourself feel even shittier?” Later on I came up with the 3 task idea. As you probably know, depression basically turns you into a zombie. You don’t care about anything, you don’t want to do anything but sleep and it’s not easy to get out of this cycle. The 3 task idea is pretty simple. Just wake up in the morning and get 3 things done that day. Even if it’s just watering your plants, washing two dirty plates and making your bed. It’s small but it’s still a progress. Later, when I felt like I’m ready to do more, I added more tasks and – voila! – now, in September I’m pretty well-functioning average person. The fact that I came to this point has already raised my self-esteem. When it comes to body image – I realized that I am a human being. I don’t need to be perfect. In fact – I don’t think there are people in this world that have naturally perfect bodies and who maintain them without doing much. Some of as have huge thighs, some of us have small breasts, some of us don’t have perfectly flat stomach but hey, it’s okay! For example, yes, my thighs are still not on the thin side but at least my waist is slim. Life is just way too short to worry about my imperfections and constantly blame myself for not fitting some unrealistic standard. Also, this reminds me one quote I recently found on Pinterest and now it’s added to my cork board in my work room.

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So that’s my journey from hating my body to finally feeling comfortable in my own skin. The moral of the story is – being fit does not always mean loving your body. It’s not about working out, it’s about putting yourself in the right mindset and accepting who you really are. Sure, you can lose those 10 pounds, if you want to but before you do that just stop and ask yourself: “Do I want to do that because I feel the pressure from others and want fit some strange standard? Do I want to do it because I don’t like my body?” If the answer is yes, you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons. You don’t have to be the next Jen Selter, you can live a great life in the body you already have. So what if those thighs jiggle a little? You’re not a Barbie doll that’s made of plastic. Let them haters talk but do not become one of them. Remember, there are only two chances – you can either be your worst enemy or your best friend. Chose wisely.

Love, Porcelain Doll.

The time I decided to become a guitar teacher.

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Hello, my dear readers! If you would have told me two or three years ago that I will try working as a teacher, I would have laughed in your face. Honestly. I knew that I was going to have a job in my last year of high school but becoming a teacher was the very last option on a list. Why, you may ask? For example, I was pretty sure that I won’t get a long with the kids. Maybe because I was bullied in my childhood or maybe just because I’m not a very social being in general. However, times have passed, things have changed and I have improved myself, too. I’m no longer that quiet person, hiding behind all others and hoping that no one will ever ask me anything. I’m no longer so secretive and I enjoy meeting new people (as long as there aren’t too many of them at once and they aren’t too loud). Now back to my story of how I even got there. No secrets here – I was quite often visitor of job boards on some sites and was trying to find ways to get a job since I was about 17 years old. And no, not any job! I would lack patience to pick strawberries on a field, so I wanted to find something more serious and at the end of this summer I did. I came across advertisement about school that was looking for a guitar teacher. Somehow I got the job pretty quickly despite the lack of my middle school diploma, not even talking about diploma that would prove I have higher education in music or pedagogy. But at these times my friends from school got their guitar teaching jobs, too because there are so many schools in Latvia where guitar teachers are needed but there aren’t just so many of us. Also, not all of those, who teach guitar have proper experience and knowledge. But the story doesn’t end here – with me getting a job and 10 students to teach. Few days later I got a phone call from another school that also needed a guitar teacher and the offered me 5 to 7 students. What do you think I did? As a maximalist I am, I agreed to that job, too. Somehow I just love to agree too many or too hard tasks and then, even if it’s through pain and tears, prove myself that I can do them. I guess, the inner me just has a strong belief that I am a super woman and can do anything. Who knows – maybe it’s not that far from the truth.

Now let’s jump forward to the time school starts. I thought I was able to manage everything pretty smoothly but the time I saw my school schedule and what kind of homework I had to do, I was close to freaking out. No one told me that last year will be this hard. I kind of thought that just because Math, English, History and Latvian exams are in the past, my life will get easier. It did not. In fact I’d rather take English, History and Latvian lessons again, if I could just get rid of Music history, Form and Polyphony. Anyways, I managed to pack most of the lessons in my school days and put last four on Saturday. You might think that working on a Saturday is a complete torture but it’s not. I wake up early, have a cup of coffee, get some things done around the home and then go to work which starts at 1 p.m. My schedule is more packed than ever but as a maximalist I am, I feel like I can do more stuff done when I actually have more stuff to do. Pro tip – keeping a bullet journal makes doing a lot of tasks way easier and you will not forget them, if you write them down. It is an exciting challenge for me every day – let’s see, how much of these I can do. And sometimes I manage to do everything I have on the list. But enough about organizing process of it. I’ll dive in more details on how things are going in the job itself.

I have been teaching almost for two weeks and there are few things I have already realized. Teaching is definitely not an easy job but it is more interesting (and sometimes even fun!) than I would have thought. Sometimes it seems kind of monotone when I have to repeat notes and fingers of a scale to a kid for 20 minutes until my brain gives up and I start messing them up myself. But sometimes it’s fun when I try to explain something him with a pinch of humor and the kid not only laughs but also understands what I am trying to teach him. At least for now I feel like I’m doing pretty well and still studying myself while teaching gives me some kind of advantage because I can relate so well to kids, who try to do their best but things don’t work out right away. And still having my inner child is great  because I can easily joke around and explain them things as simple as possible, and slowly gain the trust of my students. For now I’m kind of “winging” the whole teaching process and trying out different things because it’s something new for me but I’m definetly happy that I’m gaining this kind of experience. Nothing compares to the feeling when I had a good lesson with a kid, he was open and thirsty for some knowledge and at the end I am able to give him a good grade.

Maybe following my gut is the best thing to do in this job for now. All the talks about being understanding yet strict and “doing things the right way” can really mess up head of a young teacher, so I’m not thinking too hard and doing everything my own way. In some way I could consider the way I teach as a creative expression. Even though I need to know the main tasks, it is one big improvisation. When a kid comes to my lesson, I don’t know what to expect. Maybe he will have done his homework, maybe not. Maybe he will work in a lesson, maybe he won’t but I have to be prepared for everything, stay open-minded, be understanding yet separate their bullshit from the truth. It sounds like a hard task but maybe it’s not for me. Let’s be honest – I’ve been telling lies to my teachers many times, too and sometimes I still do. It’s pretty easy to smell someone else’s bullshit a mile away. And when I do, there are two choices to make – honest talk or bad grade. No matter, how the kid is doing, I need to see that he’s trying to improve and be his best. If he’s doing that, I will highly appreciate not wasting my time and give him a good grade. So simple.

So that’s about it about my adventures of becoming a teacher and working as one. I have to do a morning workout now and go to work later but I will definitely return next week with new and exciting blog post. Have a lovely and productive day, and do what you love!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

5 steps to becoming your real, authentic self.

Happy girl

Hello, dear readers! Today I wanted to talk about something that has been sitting on my mind for a long time, which is being yourself.  You probably want to ask: “What is there to talk about? I already know, who I am and what I want to be.” The truth is – you probably don’t. You just think you do. A little more than year ago I thought that my dream is to study classical guitar in Royal Academy of Music in London. Strange, wasn’t it? I couldn’t and still can’t imagine myself on the stage, earning living by playing in concerts. It took me some time to realize that all the years I heard my mother constantly talking about how nice it would be, if I would become a successful classical guitarist, for a while made me believe that it is my own idea. Of course, it wasn’t. I realized that even though my view to the future is not completely clear, I don’t see myself becoming a musician – performer. Performing on the stage often just isn’t what I picture for myself.

Maybe you, just like I was, from early childhood were influenced by different opinions and are taught lots of rules. Everyone – from parents and friends to media is responsible for how we see ourselves, what we believe in and, eventually, who we become. Sadly, often influence is too overwhelming and it is easier than ever to silence the inner voice everyone naturally has and blindly follow the norm. And let’s be honest – norm is boring. Besides – no great artist, musician, blogger or (insert any profession other here) has succeed by following the crowd. If you are reading this post, I am pretty sure you don’t want to be one of the crowd – boring and plain just like everyone else. However, you still don’t know, how to stand out and become a successful individual with amazing life. (Side note: when I say amazing, I don’t mean that you won’t face any hardships. You will but that’s okay.) Let me introduce you to 5 steps to becoming your real, authentic self.

  1. Stop and take a moment to ask yourself: “Where do I see myself in few years, if I keep living like this? Am I happy? Do I lack something in this future life? If so, that might be the sign that you have been taking the path others wanted you to take instead of following the real you. In the past I could picture myself as a musician on stage. I could even imagine, how happy my parents and teachers would be. But there was one thing I couldn’t visualize in the future – myself being happy in a life like this.
  2. Try to remember what you have enjoyed doing in your childhood. What was it? Did people around you encouraged you or thought it was a waste or time or outside the norm? Maybe you liked to paint but you mother told you that you won’t be able to get into art school so often that you even didn’t try? Maybe you liked to play football but your teacher or friends said that you’re just another average football player and you will never make it to the team in your country? Just think about what were you passionate back then and don’t skip the things that weren’t approved by others. Do you still enjoy any of these activities? If yes, that is a good sign.
  3. Think about all the things that differ you from others. Do you have weird laugh that you’re trying to hide? Do you never wear shorts because you think that your thighs are thicker than other girls’? Do you never speak up in class or in a meeting because you think that your voice sounds weird? Now, when you have made your list, it’s time to switch things up. Stop worrying about the opinion of others. Laugh like nobody could hear you, wear those cute shorts and speak up in class. And, for the sake of God, stop judging yourself. We all have quite a few haters, there’s no need to join the club and start hating yourself. Better be confident and fake it at the beginning, if you have to. As they say – fake it until you make it.
  4. Start doubting your limits. You probably think that you will never get rid of your shyness, clumsiness, never become successful in our dream niche and never get that dream job. What if I told you it’s not true? What if you’re listening to your inner negative voice and opinion of others way too much? A lot of famous and successful people were doubted before they made it. Take for an example Lady GaGa, Elvis Presley, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Marylin Monroe and many more. It’s time to become your own biggest supporter, start believing yourself and make your dreams come true.
  5. Split big goals into smaller steps. Knowing what you want and believing yourself is good but you will fail, if you won’t split big goals into small steps that will gradually help you accomplish what you wanted. Having a concrete plan will make you stay more motivated and not so overwhelmed by quantity of the work you will have to get done. For example, if your dream is to have blog with 10000 followers and have at least 3000 views daily, your smaller steps might be “polish your Pinterest profile” , “learn how to engage your Pinterest followers and turn them into your blog followers”, “find sites in your niche that accept guest posts” etc. You get the point.

I really hope that this post will inspire you a lot and make you want to change your life for the best. I might not be an expert in this area of life because I am in improvement process myself but sharing my tips and experience is great – now we can walk this path together!

However, before I go, I want to know: Does your future life vision satisfies you? Do you follow your inner voice or suggestions from family members and friends? Let me know in the comments!

Love, Porcelain Doll.

Striving for a better life.

Striving for a better life. | It's time to get my life together, start planning and start living the life of my dreams.

Hello, my dear readers! Last week has been pretty crazy to me. After chilling all summer and mostly taking my time to rest and improve my mental health, I just realized that school is going to start soon. It feels like just yesterday I returned from summer exchange program, just few days ago I got a tattoo… but it’s a false feeling and I have little time to get my life together. Even though this school year will be free from some subjects that I used to hate (*cough* math *cough*), I will be busier than ever because crazy inner me decided that she can keep studying, get normal grades, manage blogging and teach kids to play the guitar 22 lessons a week. I went from having no students to having 16 at once. It’s funny to remember how boring my life was at the age of fifteen when I was too scared to step out of my comfort zone but now I’m doing it a lot more, yet wondering – isn’t it too much?

However, I’m determined to make this work and even more – feel happy while living like this. After getting off meds I have slowly realized how strong I am mentally and how much I am capable of doing which amazed me. Of course, it might not be a lot in eyes of some people but for me it is something. I went from trance-like state and not caring about anything to realizing my current goals and learning to believe that I can achieve them. Nevertheless, to live the life I want to live, I will have to do something I have barely done in my life and when I did – I hated it. If you have not guessed what am I talking about – it is planning. I am that chaotic person, who loves to stay up until 4 a.m., if I suddenly get inspired to write or paint and who is often running late to somewhere I have to be. Now it is time to stop this messy lifestyle and plan out everything, which is what I am doing these past few days and I still keep doing it. So far I have created my morning routine (Who knew these are so important! Mine always consisted on hitting snooze about 10 times and skipping breakfast.), got 3 planners (2 for both schools I will be teaching in and 1 for general daily tasks) and created blogging daily task list.

Also, I have figured out 7 big mistakes why planning never worked out for me in a long term.

  1. Too much daily tasks.
  2. Tasks are too huge.
  3. All of the tasks are unpleasant.
  4. No rewards.
  5. No long-term goals.
  6. I’m waiting for inspiration or enough energy to do something.
  7. Following fake goals aka goals that others have set for myself.

Now, when I know what I have done wrong in the past and how to do it the right way now, I feel much more motivated and the future just seems brighter in general.

One more thing I have been doing to change my life for the best is uncluttering my closet and my apartment. Even though I’ve been doing some closet cleaning less than a year ago, I still found myself having clothes that do not represent me or in which ones I feel unattractive. However, for a while I did not realize that the closet was not the only thing, full of old, unuseful, broken and ugly things. It was the whole apartment. For example, just few days I threw out 3 or 4 trash bags, full of old school notes that I am not going to use again. Turns out that all those small things I put somewhere away from my eyes and kept “just in case” all together created a lot of trash that I have not used for months or even years. Also – throwing out the stuff you do not need is just a part one. The second thing you need to do is stop making spontaneous purchases. This goes especially about clothes and make up. Buy something only if you need it, not because you fell in love from the first sight with it.

So that’s what I am doing to make my life better. In case you are thinking about getting your life together, too, I will leave few useful links that might inspire you to do so.

That’s all for now and see you in next week when I will hopefully have everything planned out and I start diving into this new routine.

Stay awesome, Porcelain Doll.

 

5 big fiction writing mistakes I made as a beginner.

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Hello, dear readers! As I mentioned in one of my previous blog posts, I used to write some cheesy and, honestly, a little obscene fiction and the fact that I did it makes me cringe until this very day. Just imagine thirteen, fourteen year old girl, who barely had her first kiss, trying to write about romance she had never experienced in real life. However, when I discovered Wattpad, I was amazed that so many teenagers like to write and what amazed me even more was the fact that they published their work and actually got positive reviews. At that time I didn’t think about it enough to realize that most comments were probably from their peers, who had as little knowledge about writing and romance as young authors their own. Nevertheless, I quickly joined the crowd of teenagers, publishing their writing on Wattpad because that made me feel like a cool kid and I made lots of new friends while keeping up with this teenage writer trend. For few years I found the whole process exciting and actually thought my content was good. How could I not? Today, when I log in on my Wattpad profile that, for some unknown reason I haven’t deleted yet, my most popular story, called “She’s trouble”, has 69 614 reads, 1 077 votes and has been added to 26 reading lists. I guess, quite a lot teenage girls found my content interesting. However, I won’t share links to my cringe worthy “masterpieces” because they are not worth reading. What I will do is share the most common mistakes beginners, especially teenage beginners make when they start writing fiction.

  1. Plot of the book wasn’t planned out. I kind of knew what my characters were but I had no idea where are they going, what is their goal, their purpose. If plot of a book is roughly like “going from point A to point B”, my heroes were staying at point A the whole time and occasionally making trouble because without trouble the book would be way too boring.
  2. Publishing the chapter right after writing it. My so-called book wasn’t already written when I published the first chapter. I was just kind of winging it and barely had any idea what is going to happen in the next chapter. After some time writing on Wattpad started to make me nervous because as soon as I found out that some people actually enjoyed reading the crap I published, I felt like they’re constantly waiting for more and that I should publish regularly. I tried my best to still “wing it” and stick to some kind of schedule but the more time passed, the more I started to perceive writing as a chore. Which is why I quit writing regularly and occasionally published several updates until I quit using Wattpad completely.
  3. Following clichés and copying ideas of others. People often say that copying others is the right thing to do when you are just starting out. Maybe it would have been like that but the thing is – those other people did not have much more knowledge about writing, planning out a great plot, making character seem realistic than I did. So I got inspired from poor writing of others and adapter clichés like being underage and falling in love with young, hot teacher, bad boy or stepfather, being the most popular girl in school etc. Now the idea of those story scenarios happening in real life makes me frown because no stepfather or teacher should seduce someone who’s underage and it’s all kinds of wrong. But in teenage years, I guess, a lot of people, especially girls had those twisted fantasies  about forbidden love in their heads and I still don’t know where did they got them.
  4. Writing about unrealistic characters with unrealistic lives. Just because I copied others, I did not include realistic characters in my books but invented a mix of everything I have read about instead. Right now the thought that I did that makes me want to slam my head against the wall but at the time it seemed like a good idea. Side note: I have learned that readers don’t want to read about characters that aren’t realistic because it is not possible to relate to them. Thanks to Jenna Moreci for this brilliant grain of thought because I was not ingenious enough to figure out that by myself.
  5. Writing terrible sex scenes. It’s no secret that almost everyone in their early teens is a walking and breathing set of raging hormones and at that part of out lives we think about sex quite often. Maybe that was the reason because 99% of teen written fiction had several sex scenes in it. What makes this fact cringe worthy is that these scenes were poorly written. No wonder – some of us had zero action at that time and it’s not possible to write believable scene about something you have never experienced yourself. If I could ever give advice to teenage writers, I’d suggest them to wait until they are older and more experienced. Of course, you might figure out how it’s done technically from movies (or porn, which I don’t suggest) but you will never catch the emotional side of it and most people don’t want to read dry description of sex with several serious mistakes in it.

These are 5 of the most popular mistakes young writers including me, especially on Wattpad, have made while trying to write fiction. It was an exciting time in my life when I first tried to get my content out there, even before creating my very first blog and even though I feel a little ashamed about it, I can definitely learn a lot from my first attempts. Since then I have found my own voice and the topics I feel passionate about, and learned a lot of tips and tricks on how to improve my writing. However, I’m still learning every day and I have decided to create new Wattpad profile to publish my writing on in the future. This time I definetly won’t make the mistakes I mentioned in this post.

Have you ever tried writing fiction and what were the mistakes you made?

Love, Porcelain Doll.