Wrong ways.

I’m confused – if you think negative, the good thing doesn’t happen; if you hope too much and get too excited about it, it doesn’t happen either. It doesn’t matter if it’s about contest you think you will win, the guy, who you think will call you back or perfect swimsuit you think ,you will buy. None of this ever happens. But maybe I should ignore this fact at all and not think about it? No, I can’t. I will fail the contest, if I won’t work hard enough, I will lose any chance with this guy, if I won’t do anything to make him see me and I will get so fat that I won’t be able to find perfect swimsuit.

Yeah, life fucks as all and it’s like 90% pain and 10% happiness. Only thing I wish is to switch those sides. I’m not that bad person and I do deserve happy ending. We all do. We don’t deserve that much pain. Pain makes you learn something but if it’s too much, it ruins you and turns you into hopeless person. Pain is like alcohol – when it’s a little, it’s okay but when it’s too much, it ruins your life and you can’t just switch things back the way they were before.

I can’t hope, I can’t think negatively and I can’t ignore everything. I’m sitting in a cage, called “life” and I’m confused about how should I act to change things to better.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

How to get points & credits for games online FOR FREE.

Okay, okay, I was the person, who said that I don’t play games online anymore but… just agree with me, IMVU is pretty exciting one. Sad thing is that it’s not easy at all to get enough credits and have fun for whole 100% in it. In many countries just like in mine offers that can help earn free credits aren’t available.

Should I just delete this game from my computer and delete my account? No, there’s really good alternative for it! Suff Points have many tasks you can do to earn points online, get gift cards you want and use them for IMVU or any other game  it offers reward for. Check this website stuffpoints.com out, it’s awesome!

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

10 sex myths you really shouldn’t believe.

Bam! Gues what, teen girl/boy? Many things about sex that you thought were true are actually myths and total bullshit! No, teachers, Math and History aren’t the most important subjects in school. You won’t die, if you won’t remember in which years started World War 2 or how much is square root from 13 but you will die, if you will contract STD’s from not knowing that oral sex isn’t safe just because you can’t get pregnant. I think, Sex Ed should be teached in every school, in every country. You can’t affect when and with who your daugther/son or whoever has sex but you can give them enough information about it and answer to all their questions. When I was younger and even know my parents were always like: “Oh, you’re too young for sex talk. If were gonna talk about this too much, you’ll want to do this and we don’t really want that.” Dang! Gues what, mum and dad? I’m almost seventeen! There are many teen mom’s in my age, there are people in my age that already has STD’s. If we’d talk about it, it wouldn’t mean that I will turn into sex obsessed person.

Okay, enough of that. All I want to say to parents is: “Don’t tell your daugthers and sons bullshit and do answer to their questions. If a person is poor informed about sex or anything else, things can go bad. You don’t want that, right? So stop being ashamed about this topic and split it out! You’re not ashamed to do it, so why are you ashamed to talk about it? People are making sex such a tabu that teenagers in these days have  less information known about it and bunch of bullshit red that they believe in. Let’s stop this!” And now here’s a list of myths that I’m gonna bust for you, teenager!

  1. You can pop your cherry AKA hymen can be broken. Biggest bullshit of all in the internet. Funny how guys AND girls believe that hymen is located somewhere deeper in vagina and it can be broken, and it will hurt like hell. I didn’t really know this stuff either just few months ago. Actually this thing is a membrane that partially covers or surrounds the external vaginal opening. It IS NOT something that you can make a hole in or something. Whatever, you get the point. Though, there are different types of hymens. But the basic stuff about it Laci Green sure explains better than me. 
  2. Oral sex is safe because you can’t get pregnant. Silly. Okay, you can’t get pregnant but don’t forget about STD’s because you can still contract them. I know, in the moment we think only about pleasure and not about safety. And guys – don’t forget about safe oral sex not only when you’re getting it but also when you’re giving it.  (And again Laci Green can tell you all about oral sex much better than me.)
  3. You can’t get pregnant, if you have sex while you’re on your period. Wrong. Sperm can survive for few days and you still have a chance to get pregnant.
  4. You can’t get pregnant, if you’re having sex in the water. If you’re not using any protection, you still can get pregnant. No matter where and when you have sex, you can get pregnant (or contract STD’s), if you’re not using protection.
  5. Two condoms are better than one. Nope, not true. If you use two condoms at the same time, there’s higher risk they can get broken.
  6. Masturbation is bad and something you should feel guilty about. Seriously? I bet no parents would ever say to their child that masturbation is actually good thing because they kinda think that if their child is masturbating, he/she is a pervert. If they ever accidentaly caught you masturbating, they probably grimaced and started yelling: “What the hell are you doing? Stop that right now! You should never do this.” Okay, that’s the worst reaction but you get the point. The truth is that masturbation is good because it increases your mood, takes away stress, helps you sleep better and helps you to understand what you really want in sex and how you want it.
  7. If you’re having sex, you automatically count as an adult, as more mature person than everyone, who doesn’t have sex. Why do society keeps every young person to have sex more and more earlier? It’s a choice you should make by your own without pressure from someone. If you’re, like, fourteen and you’ve already done it, it doesn’t make you better than everyone else, who haven’t done it yet. It’s not really that big deal and doing or not doing it won’t make you better or worse person, never forget that.
  8. It’s better to have sex when you’re drunk or high. No, it isn’t. When you’re drunk or high, you’re less able to orgasm and you might forget about protection.
  9. The size of penis matter and the bigger it is, than better. No, boy, you got this all wrong. Big penis and small vagina can be a really bad combination. Also – not all vaginas are the same size. When it comes to penis size – it’s more important how well you can use it, not how big it is.
  10. First time having sex will really hurt for a girl. Umm, should it? The answer is no. Like Laci Green said: “If it hurts, you’re probably doing something wrong.” Maybe you’re not relaxed enough  or maybe you’re going too fast. Or you’re not wet enough (lubricant can help with this).

P.S. If you’re using condoms AND lubricant, DON’T USE OIL BASED LUBRICANT.

Okay, here you go – ten myths. I wish my parents would have told me at least few of these. If you want to know something more, check out Laci Green’s channel on Youtube.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

Miks Dukurs – “Impossible” cover live at Daugavas koncertzāle

That moment when I went to James Arthur’s concert in 18.06.15. and got know that he’s sick and won’t perform tonight, I thought this night is gonna suck. I was so wrong. I’m happy that I didn’t leave that night. It was still amazing and latvian musicans are better than I always thought. We’ll still hear James Arthur live in 12. august but here’s Miks Dukurs cover version of “Impossible”. I liked it so much, I just couldn’t not post this in my blog. My Motorolla Moto G phone surprised me a lot, I thought that sound quality will be worse but no. Oh, whatever, enjoy the song and let me know your thoughts about this version of “Impossible”! :)

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

Top 10 Twitter accounts to follow

There are moments in our lives, when it feels like time has stopped and you’re waiting for your dentist’s visit, boss’ call or whatever forever. And there are moments when you feels so pissed at someone but you can’t take all that out, so you just take your phone or laptop, go to Twitter and start expressing your feelings through tweets. Here’s a little list of my favourite Twitter accounts, which posts can totally make my day, make me forget about my problems for a moment and are great waste of time in moments of boredom.

  • Student Problems One of my favourite accounts ever. We all hate school with it’s fake bitches and mad teachers, and we all deal with much more shit life gives us. Here you go – if this won’t make you laugh, at least it will make you smile as well.
  • Chatejah This girl has some really good Vines and videos. That’s why I’m sharing this in here.
  • Steve Stifler Parody account, most posts are great.
  • Sarcasm Most of the story of my life in this accounts posts.
  • Me? Sarcastic? Never Another girly / teen like account but… great if you have a lot of time to waste.
  • poetry If you don’t really want to laugh and smile but drown into deep thoughts.
  • Seriously! Another white girl – like Twitter account for teens.
  • Relatable Quotes Okay, I’m obsessed with those silly accounts made for teens. Who isn’t?
  • Kardashian Reactions
  • Girl Notes♔

Okay, that’s all. See you soon.

P.S. If you have any suggestions about what do you want to read in this blog, feel free to comment. I will be super happy, if you will tell, what do you want to read about, what do you like in this blog and what not. Also, I’m opening this blog for guest bloggers, too. If you’re interested, let me know by commenting down below or writing to my e-mail: zakens1998@gmail.com 

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

List of ridiculous things that happen only in movies.

Okay, I should continue cleaning the house I’m living in right now but… I just want to share one blog post idea, that has been taking a nap in my head for months. We all sure have seen movies that seem completely ridiculous, in which happen things that would never or rarely happen in real life. Okay, let’s start!

  • One of the biggest clichés is bad boy – player, who changes girls more often than socks and suddenly falls in love with nerd/ugly duckling/ Ms. Invisible. She changes him completely and suddenly he becomes nice, smart, funny and.. The One.  Let’s be real. IRL jocks, bad boys and trouble makers don’t even look at nerds and book worms. They are just too different, they don’t even have one thing to talk about. How the fuck they could fall in love? Also, if guy is all about sex, he probably will be like that and is not going to change soon. Stop dreaming, girl. One more thing – smart girl likes smart guys, she won’t fall for someone who has sawdust in his head. 
  • Popular girl makes very small transformation for nerd and – BAM – she is hot just because she let’s her hair free (not ponytail anymore) and takes the glasses off. How could someone come up with this dumb idea? So all this time she should-be wearing contact lenses and this super hot player would bang her too, huh? I have nothing else to say about this, it’s just… bullshit. *slow, sarcastic claps*
  • Girl, who is in perfect shape with muscles, looks hot, isn’t into sports at all. Let’s be real. I’d rather see some skinny or a little fat actress for this role than someone like Megan Fox. If you’re not into sports, you are never going to look like that.
  • Character just goes to the bar, get’s a drink and leaves without paying. Just realized that in some movies and TV series this happens.
  • Unpopular teenage girl somehow gets the job in prestige company and EVERYONE HAS NO CLUE, SHE’S NOT AN ADULT. They don’t even ask for her passport or anything. Shoutout to “Jane by Design” and “The Carrie Diaries”. No offense, these TV series are just superb for me but… it’s not real. In real life no one would take teenage girl for prestige work without needed education and pay her bunch of money.
  • When someone falls from high height, they always fall in truck which is full with something soft or something like that. They never fall on the ground and have all they guts smeared on it. In real life you’d be just dead and it would look super gross.
  • Parents always believe their children lies. Always. If she stays over at friend’s house, no questions asked. Seriously? At least, if you’re not 16 or older, it DOES NOT HAPPEN.
  • Prostitutes always look beautiful, sexy and all. Let’s be real. It’s not like that at all.
  • Every time, when they committed a crime, they suddenly see themselves in TV as “wanted”. In real life your ass would be in police car sooner than you could say “gingerbread”.
  • First time when a transformed geek walks into a party, dressed like a sex bomb, everyone turns at her and stares with their mouth open. In real life you’d hear maybe two people complimenting you because of your new look. Others just would not give a fuck.
  • Girls don’t ever style their hair. They just act like all this is natural. Even when they wake up, nothing in their hair has changed.
  • Something explodes and people just walk away from it with that “eh, that happens to me every day, not a big deal” attitude.    

  

  • A person is able to say, how she/he feels about someone without making idiot of her-/himself. 
  • Teenagers doesn’t really look like teenagers. Guys have big muscles, girls have big breasts and none of them have acne. 

Okay, I’m done. There are too many things. Maybe I’ll make Part 2 if someone wants, later.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

Let’s talk about writing again.

When I was little, about 7 til 10 years old, I didn’t enjoy writing essays. Probably because I was too small to have my own opinion about things and had almost no life experience. Here’s the thing with being a writer – that more you have experienced in your life than more interesting you can write. It’s not about putting beautiful words together, it’s about finding yourself in what you write and telling people your thoughts. And nothing is more beautiful than that, when you write and all your thoughts fall like a waterfall and after you publish it or give it to someone, people really like it. I never told anyone that writing to me means a lot but it does. It makes me feel happy and if I’m sad, angry, anxious, it clears out all those emotions.

There aren’t that many times when someone compliments the way I write but whenever it happens, it makes me smile. I don’t think I could ever do it in a professional way but.. whatever. There were several times when teachers said that I really am not afraid to say what’s on my mind, that they found my opinion interesting etc. Probably biggest compliments to me ever. Means more than calling me beautiful, funny or something. Writing is just the part of who I am and I am not afraid to show the world that I can be cynic, sharp, sensitive and lots more. Just a little advice – if you don’t like/like something, feel something or don’t feel nothing at all – speak up. Let the world hear you.beyourself

Also – check out this amazing song. Marian Hill is just gold.

That’s all for tonight, I’m going to bed.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

A “little” disappointment.

When I came to new school, I actually hoped that I would make friends, real friends that really care about me. I didn’t. Not even one person. It’s not like I hate them all but… I can’t ignore the fact that even they are physically way too close, in some other way they are galaxies away from me and it will always be like that. I’m so sick of fake people, who act like they care but they don’t. Just fucking stop this game. If you’re not interested and don’t like me, just say so. I’m tired of games and lies that most people enjoy. I want the truth and only the truth, no matter how hurtful it could be. I’d rather know that everything is really terrible than live in lies that life is a garden, full of roses. I kinda love the pain and the tragedy. It makes me feel alive but… kinda makes me wish, I’d be dead. I can’t stop thinking that people will never appreciate me and one moment they will just broke me because I’m not cold enough to them. I’m always ready to help and do everything to never make them feel like I do.

I’m falling apart and every day it gets worse. It’s scary that I can cry more than one hour non-stop and hit my hand until I don’t feel it anymore. That’s what happens when there’s no one to trust. Those demons could eat everyone alive.

P.S. No, I am not suicidal, just really depressed.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

Self discovery: becoming self-confident woman.

It is such a big and long path, isn’t it? It’s amazingly breathtaking and full of unexpected good and bad surprises. From careless little girl to anxious girl in her early teen years and later to almost seventeen years old teenager, who has finally learned at least few of the most important things in life.

Watching and hearing, how one of my friends is desperately trying to get back her ex-boyfriend and/or seducing few other good looking guys, made me really think. Why is she always all about looks and boys? It seems like if you don’t like a queen every second in a day and don’t have a guy beside you, you’re a shit and nothing. Is she really one of those girls, who think that women are made for men? That we are born to be everything they order us to be and if we are not like that, they have all rights to treat us like shit? It’s such a big no-no for me. Just two or three years I was the one, who cried if my crush didn’t text me back or suddenly lost all interest in me. When this happens to me now, I just say: “Oh wow, guys can really be fuck-ups. I guess, we were never meant to be and he is just another frog in my way before I get to meet My Prince Charming. If one guy (or maybe few guys) didn’t find you interesting or disappointed you, it doesn’t mean that you will be forever alone. Wrong. Too many girls and women are so afraid of being alone that they get together with first guy they can get and then it becomes a relationship you don’t really want to have. In this relationship you just fight all the time because he doesn’t like the real you or even worse – you change yourself and loose your true You because of him. None of these chances are brilliant so you better step off, when Mr. Wrong one is somewhere near. It’s really not worth it.

Shout out to all faithful, honest girls and women, who are ready to work on a relationship no matter what. Sad thing is that those girls get hurt the most because at least teenage boys are usually soon chasing after hoes. I have no idea, what they are really thinking about, making choices like this but… it sucks. Other one of my really good friends just got out in a relationship in a really bad way – her boyfriend just got back together with his ex without telling a thing to my friend. Sounds like Asshole no.1, right? Why, oh why, guys don’t want to fight over girls that they are ready to be always there for them and make everything work out? All my life I thought that if any kind of a relationship doesn’t work out and someone just goes away, it’s my fault for being too faithful, nice and all that. They just used me and left. I tried to be a cold hearted bitch and act like I don’t care but it really didn’t work. And just this year I understand that it’s great that I’m a good person, ready to sacrifice in a relationship and if someone doesn’t appreciate that, it’s his/her damn fault not mine.

All you, especially teenage girls, should understand that… you don’t really need a man. You should be able to live and be happy without them. If you won’t learn, how to love yourself and be happy without help of other people, you will always feel empty and find yourself chasing after wrong people. I realized all this on my own. Life isn’t about finding your other half, who would make you happy. It’s about finding new ways, how to love yourself more because you’re not a half, you’re one whole person and there is nothing missing in you that could be completed only by someone else.

I really hope that this made something more clear to you all and made you realize, how being happy and self-confident woman really works. Actually, I could say that the same goes with men. You don’t need a woman to be you, to be happy. All this couple and love shit is overrated. I, personally, don’t see a need to be in a relationship at all, if I don’t feel that this is the right person to me. Being with someone just to be in a relationship or just hoping to feel more happy and self-confident is totally dumb. Don’t be that person. You are smarter now and you will learn to love yourself, improve yourself and be, who you really want to be. And then – when you will least expect it, Mr. or Ms. Right one will show up.

Cher said it right.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.

I’m a make up weirdo.

Honestly, I am one weird girl, who’s always trying to find new ways how to express herself. I used to draw a lot, when I was younger but now somehow I stopped doing it. Instead of that, I started to experiment with make up. Many times, when I felt really pissed, sad or mad, I just took all the make up I have and… started express all that I feel on my face. I never felt more surprised. I always was the girl, who knew nothing about it because my mum usually doesn’t use make up at all and couldn’t teach me a thing. But here I am, starting to feel kinda hooked into this thing. You’ll probably think I am a terrible amateur but… everyone starts somewhere. So here are few pics of all those crazy experiments.

I tried really hard to look like Taylor Swift in "Blank space", jut without those red lips because it looked terrible on me.

I tried really hard to look like Taylor Swift in “Blank space”, just without those red lips because it looked terrible on me.

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This was my 1st April joke this year. Yeah, I shouldn’t have made that face but you get the point.

No, no one beat me up. I just saw few make up tutorials about this and wanted to try that. It sucks, I know. xD

No, no one beat me up. I just saw few make up tutorials about this and wanted to try that. It sucks, I know. xD

This pics has some effects on it to make it look more impressive. Today's idea.

This pics has some effects on it to make it look more impressive. Today’s idea.

And without effects.

And without effects. Eyeshadow probably ruins it, I know.

Sorry some bad quality web cam pics.

xoxo, Porcelain Doll.